Ok, so blogging is actually not as easy as I thought. Finding the time to sit and write blog entries is nearly impossible these days. :( With a 2 yr old and a newborn, who has time for anything? I’m lucky I’ve still been able to eat (though at strange times of the day, and with probably too much time btwn each meal), and shower (most days).  OK, so maybe I shouldn’t admit that yesterday I was forced to skip it because Julio was out of town on a biz trip and things were too crazy all day with both kids. It was 1 am when I finally had a chance to actually shower, but at that point I decided sleep was wayyy more important than soap and water. Screw my oily hair. I vowed to shower this am, and miraculously I was able to. Of course, it was a 7 min shower, all while Victoria dozed off after her 3rd feeding and Nico watched Elmo videos on youtube. I crossed my fingers he wouldn’t move from there.

My back hurts, probably from my long gone ab muscles which never looked like they were there anyway but whatever, and extra wobbly post preg belly which no longer support my back. I’m sure my bad sitting and breastfeeding positions don’t help either, and don’t even get me started on all the bending over I have to do daily to change diapers AND pick up toys and crap. SIGH. I’m taking Tylenol, but it still hasn’t kicked in.

Then there’s my stupid TMJ, which is again flaring up. It could be worst, but so far I have daily headaches and some clicking in my jaw. I hope it doesn’t get worst, otherwise, I’m screwed for sure. I won’t be able to take the Valium (as a substitute for muscle relaxant) and Prednisone (anti-inflamatory w/ steroids) needed to cure the pain of a severe episode of TMJ. Oh boy, so much for breastfeeding. So many limitations. I could use some Valium right now, even if it wasn’t for the TMJ. LOL

I have no clothes. Nada. It’s so depressing. I can’t wear maternity clothes because they’re too big, and my sz 6/8 normal clothes are WAY too small. And I mean WAY. I am at size 12 thanks to the belly flubber (blah! talk about a self esteem downer), and I have one pair of jeans, 2 shorts, and 6 shirts I’ve worn a gazillion times. What’s left of my ‘cool self’ can’t deal with the lack of options and unfashionable-ness. :/ I can barely deal with this. I can’t lose weight fast enough. Of course, all the sweets and carbs I’ve been eating are not helping much either. And my scale doesn’t work, batteries ran out. Who knows, I could actually be gaining… sigh sigh sigh… oh screw it, let me run to the fridge and eat that Tiramisu Mom left, hehe.

Still not sleeping through the night. Will I ever, again? Victoria is so different from Nico. She feeds once or twice at night and is still grunting and complaining about gas and pains, and pooping wayyyy too much, keeping me up for quite a while at night. At least Nico has somewhat gone back to a normal sleep schedule, sleeping through the night and when he wakes up in the morning we can easily get him to sleep more, especially if we bring him into our bed. Thank God.

Victoria is sleeping much less through the day but has not established a schedule per say. She feeds on demand and I’m enslaved to her demands, yes Ma’am. I think I’d rather be deaf at many points throughout the day, especially when both kids are crying their heads off and making their individual demands, whatever they may by. God help me. Patience, please… I need to learn patience, patience, more patience, and build it up. Well, enough complaining, I’ve acted deaf for this while amongst the two crying bosses here. Gotta run.