{I hope you noted the deep sarcasm in those words}

What. A. Day.

Just another one of those long, exhausting, mentally draining, overwhelming days in the Mommyhood.

Sigh.

Nico has been TERRIBLE! He's has me all over the place emotionally. From sweet and loving, to outrageously pissed of, so f-ing mad I ....almost started crying of overwhelming f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-o-n.

I blame it on this STUPID cold, wintery, wet weather. He probably feels like a jailed little man on house arrest. I don't blame him. I do too, but worse. I'm like a barely sane inmate confined to a mad house some days. This IS a mad house. I am this close to losing. My. Freakin. MIND! When the hell is Spring going to arrive? I was through with Winter the day it started back in December. When you have little ones (two under the age of 3 in my case) when winter comes you do nothing but hibernate.

Repeat: Hibernate.

That's right. Any planning you want to do gets squeezed into the Spring part of the calendar. And that feels like light years away!

Most Moms I know feel the same way. Unless there is pretty much absolutely n-o-t-h-i-n-g, and I mean NOTHING in the house to eat. Ok, ok, at least nothing you would want to eat, which in that case probably should be thrown out or donated, depending on its edible status which can be questionable sometimes. There are few plausible reasons to even think of leaving the house with two kids. Most reasons are simply not important enough to leave our warm cave. We're like bears. If you don't believe me ask my thighs, and belly... they're piling up some extra goody stuff that aren't going to sit well with my bathing suit {or the public} come summer. Ha!

{Note to self: Diet and exercise ASAP!}

Sigh.

Today alone, Nico has...

Among a very long list of things, had 3 potty accidents.

There was the one, first thing in the morning. How could I forget it? It was 6:53 am! He woke me up, half undressed with his arm trapped half way over his head, and all winy told me he was stuck and wet. It was pitch black. {What's he a freakin rooster? GO BACK TO SLEEP! I thought to myself...} After changing his diaper and clothes and a failed attempt to put him back in his bed, of course it was wet too, I brought him back to our bed in what turned out to be yet another failed attempt to catch more zzzs. It was not even 7 am yet. Sigh.

He never fell asleep again. Neither did I. His incessant squirming around, poking my back with his feet and knees, and little voice {as cute as it is, I don't care for it at the crack of dawn} repeatedly sounding like a broken record saying, "I can't sleep Mommy, I can't" was as torturous as knowing the hour # was still on 6 when my beautiful precious sleep came to an end.

I could have cried. But I was too busy trying desperately to fall back asleep.

Then there were the two others. Intentional ones, I say. Potty accidents. Remember we're still really talking about that. The fact he decided not to tell me he had peed and pooped in the potty at some point led me to not wiping him... which led to noticing after it was way too late that he left me a big gift in the potty, and a soiled underwear on the floor (and later a repeat story but that time it was a pull up), all while he ran around naked. I was only too late each time I realized he was sitting all over our family room leather sofas with it all hanging out, spreading the poop love all over. It was a poop fest!

At least the leather sofas were easier to clean than if they would have been cloth. 

I should mention a tiny detail, which really adds to the seriousness of these events. Nico's stools have been very runny and deadly stinky (smelling like worst than something dead) the past couple weeks. Yeah, that made the entire ordeal just that much more fun.

Besides all the poop... Nico also spent the entire day throwing stuff at me, hitting me, and screaming at me. Also defying me. Talking back. You name it, he done it.

Then there was little Victoria. You'd think she's just so darn cute nothing bad could ever come from her... Then came the moment she woke up from her nap with the biggest, runniest, STINKIEST poop EVER! It was greenish. And it was SO disgusting I gagged and literally almost threw up. Her's too smelled like something far beyond dead.

What have my kids been ingesting???!!

I don't understand how something so horrendous could come from something so adorably cute. I guess it is what it is. Sh*t happens.

Yes, there’s more. Victoria wouldn't stop squirming around while I tried changing her diaper, so of course she got poop all over my hands, arms, pants, and all of herself as well.  I swear she needs to be restrained and heavily sedated to accomplish a simple task like changing her diaper. This would have been a wonderful time to do just so. ARGHH!

The carpet and floor got poop on it as well. {No, I didn't use a changing table or changing pad.} Squirmy little monster princess. Dear God!

I guess I should be thankful she took a nice long nap at least.

But then she threw up on me after I took her clothes off. A thank you, perhaps? Uhg. Good thing it was all over my dirty pooped pants.

I thoroughly washed myself, and her, and changed both of us. My scrubbing was beyond what doctors do before entering the OR. That's how disgusting the whole thing was. And we STILL reek of poop! I bet Julio will love that when he gets home. His girls' lovely smell... of... eu de merde. {Welcome to the Mommyhood!}

Oh.

Another forgotten thought just came back to me. Because this day only kept getting better and better. {Note the sarcasm, please.}

The toilet got clogged when I tried flushing down one of Nico's nasty stools. Just fabulous! Luckily it didn't over-flood. But, I am not attempting to deal with that disgusting mess. That'll be another little surprise to welcome Julio home from work. ENOUGH POOP, I'M SO THROUGH WITH IT ALL!!!!! ARGHHHHHH!!! 

Nico has also spent the entire day hitting Victoria. You name it he's done it to her. Poor princess. I've caught him in the act so many times, I've ran out of measures of punishment. I'm unsure if it's due to jealousy, or maybe he's got too much energy built up due to winter hibernation and isn't able to burn it off in a safe and productive way.

.

.

...Ah!!...

...my savior arrived!! Julio, brought home cheese slices for sandwiches. That may after all be what's for dinner tonight.

He also kissed me hello. Makes my world a better place instantly. :)

He unclogged the toiled immediately. Poop be gone... the toilet Master is home! LOL

He also took care of feeding and putting Victoria to sleep.

And played with Nico.

And gave me some much needed time to hear my own thoughts and write this out.

My ears are sore from all the crying that happened in this house today. That includes all of my mental cries.  I also have a terrible headache.

I managed to not go completely insane, again. I don't know how though. Another notch on my belt.  

And as the cherry on top...

The house is an entire mess. Again. Thanks to Hurricane Nico! :/

.

.

Ok… Off to have me a drink! Red Wine... here I come! 

Cheers to this paradise called Mommyhood, and to us brave women who find the strength, the will and the mind to get up everyday to do it. All. Over. Again.

Salud!

So as you know I’m banned from milk and all milk products. Yes, it’s torture! Victoria seems to be allergic in some way to the milk protein. Or at least that’s the conclusion I’ve reached. You don’t even want to know what a devil child she becomes if I have any. The poor thing. Not only that, but she poops waaayyy too much and has horrible colic if I have any.

Victoria’s now 5.5 mths old, and I’ve been trying to introduce formula at her last meal of the day in hopes it’ll hold her better through the night. She’s been waking up every night famished at 4:30 am for the last week and frankly I can’t take it anymore – I need my sleep!

But… she HATES the bottle!  

I’m unsure if it’s the fake nipple or the taste of the stinky soy milk (oh my God it’s SO stinky!), or a combination of both. For sure she seems to HATE the taste of the soy milk formula from her facial expressions, gagging, and spitting it out.

I don’t blame her.

If it tastes anything like it smells I must be pretty dreadful.  Personally, I hate the taste of soy milk and I have an idea the soy based baby formula isn’t any better.

With the failed attempts at feeding her soy formula, I’ve tried introducing rice cereal (made with a few tsp of the prepared soy formula milk). Again, I was thinking it might help filling her belly for longer. But, the following sequence of pictures pretty much sums up her verdict on that as well:

All attempts have failed. I’ve struck out at every single at bat. Sigh.

What am I going to do? What is my baby going to eat when I no longer breastfeed?

Does this mean I’ll HAVE to breastfeed her until she’s 1???!!!

NO WAYYYYY!!!!

I have set the cut-off date for 6 mths! (and it’s a magical 2 weeks away… if I actually follow through with it)

Sigh… oh the worries…

Julio was gone for a few days last week, so for those few days I didn’t drink my usual half espresso.  Can you believe I actually coach myself to throw away the other half? Daily. And I suffer having to do it. Every time. 

 

Anyway. During that same time, I noticed Victoria behaved pretty well.  She didn’t seem as needy or clingy as she’s usually been, even to the point where she enjoyed being for long periods of time in her different stations: the jumparoo, the swing, the bouncer, the highchair, the floor. I found myself having more time for other things. And who knew, I had arms!? She also didn’t have as many poopie diapers as usual. I’ve got to wonder…

 

Coincidence? Perhaps, not.

 

Today I drank some espresso again, but only a quarter of it. I had been thinking about these coincidences. Could the caffeine be doing the damage? Hmmm… So, later in the afternoon, after the caffeine had surely made its way into my milk I started noticing my little velcro baby gone bad was back. Wining, crying, clingy, super needy and oh so poopie! I must have changed 6 diapers in like 4 hours.

 

Could just a little bit of caffeine have been the root of all evil all this time?

 

So, starting tomorrow I’m totally off caffeine, once again. I’m talking not even Diet Coke. We’ll see what happens in the next few days. If Victoria doesn’t become the velcro baby gone bad again, I’ll know we found the cure to all hell.  O:)

Poor Victoria. A day shy of her 5th birth-month, she’s quite the little package. SO demanding. SO needy. She’s a totally different baby than Nico was. I should have listened to what all those moms were always telling me during my second round as an incubator. My little precious princess, I LOVE her to pieces! Oh, but she wants to be held 90% of the time she’s awake. And a lot of times she will be at peace ONLY when held by me. Sorry Daddy. (And sorry to myself as well.) Add to that the times I hold her while breastfeeding and while putting her to sleep, and voila… there goes pretty much my entire day. I hope I’m not neglecting my son; he’s such a trooper!

 

Mommy needs a break at times. Make that several breaks, please. And her arms. And back. And silence. And sanity. And less of the added stress. I can’t even hear myself think at times. Oh, did I mention all the hair pulling? Add to that the loads of shedding I’m experiencing thanks to the post-preg hormone changes and we’re talking about being at the verge of baldness. Fabulous. :S

 

It gets worse. Victoria is also in the teething process. That’s right. Itchy gummies; chewing on her fingers, my fingers, everything she can; slobber all over everything and everyone; crankiness; and just general Mommy-overly-neediness. I guess that’s an excuse to be held all that more. I wish she would take a pacifier. She won’t. She thinks I’m the real thing, pacifiers are so fake (well, duh!). Sure, chew me up, why not. Ouuuuuch! Isn’t that why those things were invented?! God. Give. Me. A. Break. Please. :/ Sigh.

 

I guess it’s hard being 5 months old… Hmmm, wait till your name becomes ‘Mommy’, hehe. ;)

With 2 babies now, it’s been pretty hard keeping up with my blog. Life is very busy, crazy at times, but all in all wonderful and blessed with Nico and Victoria. They are such wonderful kids, and truly our greatest joys.

pic taken Aug. 2010

Nico’s 2 yrs 4 mths now. He’s very smart, speaking both Spanish and English. He’s figured out that he has a choice when it comes to deciding when to do what or where, or if to do as Mommy says.

Or so he thinks.

Oh it makes for interesting days, lol, or stressful, depending on how you look at it.

Nico is very loving with his little sister. He’s also been telling me with a sweet voice, kisses, and caresses “Mommy is so pretty”. Yes, I melt away.

He’s still in pull ups, and shows no interest in potty training though we’ve tried. His potty seat is as lonely as can be, though in the last 2 mths he’s used the big people toilet to pee while sitting assisted at his request, but that’s only been less than a handful of times.

Victoria turned 4 mths on 8/26; time flies when you’re having fun! She’s 17 lbs 6 oz (above 95% – aka ‘off the charts’, lol), and measures 24.88 in (75%). She’s been wearing 6 mth clothes, but according to the labels and her weight she should be in 9 mth clothes.

OMG! I have chunky babies, what can I say. And since I’m solely breastfeeding her, I must have some awesome liquid gold supply! ;)

She’s such a sweet baby and smiles and laughs all the time. She’s ticklish, talks her own little language, rolls over, and sits well when assisted. She’s begun the teething process as she’s enjoying slobbering on everything and nibbling on her fingers, and mine.

She is a wonderful baby and sleeps like a champ, from 9:30 pm until 8 am. Additionally she takes a 3 hr nap daily as well. Early on, through much trial and error, I found that she’s allergic to milk protein, so I’ve been banned from my fav drink: MILK.

That, and anything made with it. And let me tell you, that has been no fun for me. I REALLY miss milk.

And cheese.

The world is a horrible place without my dairy! Waaa waaa… :(

We welcomed our daughter Victoria Sofia on April 26th, 2010. She was born at 3:39 am, after only one push (and not even a very hard one).

I started real labor contractions around 9 pm Sunday April 25, progressed to back to back contractions 4-5 min apart in less than an hour, and we were at St. Elizabeth’s East hospital sometime between 11:20 pm and midnight. By the time I was admitted and taken to my private bedroom my contractions felt horrendous, so painful I cried through several of them. It was nothing like with my first, I can’t begin to describe the pain. Where the heck was that epidural?? It couldn’t come fast enough!

So there I was, 4 cm dilated, 75 % effaced, in real LABOR… pain pain pain! Talk about bad timing when they asked me, yeah the woman in labor and in tons of pain, to fill out stupid health forms about my medical history etc. WTF?!! Are you kidding me!?? I pretty bluntly told the nurses that was so stupid to be asking that kind of info at that particular time. I had to fill the damn things out between contractions, umm, giving me about 1 min between each. How come they didn’t send a pkg of forms to me weeks ago when I was happily pregnant and in no pain. Psstt! I swear I could have killed someone at that time.

Anyway, I progressed so quickly they had to bump me up from 5th in line to 1st for the epidural. Thank God they did, otherwise I would not have been able to have an epidural at all or one with absolutely no time to take effect. Unfortunately, even that didn’t prove to be fast enough because I got the epidural, felt some relief but progressed SO quickly that it couldn’t keep up with my labor. I felt PAIN all the way until the end! It was horrible, but I kept telling myself it could be a lot worst if I had no epidural at all. I went from 4 cm at midnight to a full 10 cm by around 3:20 am. I pushed a bit to test my ‘pushing skills’, and the nurse had to stop me before the baby came out. lol The Dr. was called in immediately. After a couple mins of prepping, and 2 extra doses of epidural meds I finally felt some numbing relief. After one single push, Victoria Sofia was born at 3:39 am. My first impression was “she’s tiny!…OMG look at that full head of dark hair!”  She weighed 6 lbs 7 oz and was 19.25” long. Nico was 7 lbs 5 oz at birth. She cried and cried, amazing such a little thing could have such strong lungs and vocal cords, haha. She had 10 fingers and 10 toes. Yes, I counted them. She was beautiful and perfect! :) It was an almost surreal moment. I have a daughter. I have 2 beautiful & healthy kids, a beautiful family. How blessed we are! God is great!

Here’s a few pics of our new princess (while still at the hospital):